Am I a depression supplement? Not an antidote, but a supplement?
Do I encourage bad thoughts and behaviors?
Even though I complain like it's second-nature, I consider myself a bright and cheery person. I smile so much I have headaches by the end of the day and laugh so much I question my own sanity. I try, honestly try not to exclude people and I give help whenever it's asked of me.
And yet, one of the most important people to me is horribly disappointed with everything and there's nothing I can do to help. I used to be able to cheer her up by doing things I wasn't even aware of, and now I am thousands of miles away, and I can no longer help. It's getting tiring to hear of her angst when I have so much of my own: I know I've been in this new place for about six months now, but that doesn't mean that it's stopped biting.
We're all doing the best with what we have. But what if that isn't enough?
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